It was on a Sunday afternoon....

1986

"Hey Michele...." I spoke rather softly to my sister hearing the labored breathing of my father over the phone line. "How are things?"

"Well we are waiting..." She left what we were all thinking about unsaid.

"Is he having trouble breathing?" I asked as his breathing was loudly coming over the phone line and my heart was thumping inside me, anticipating the separation that i knew to be closer than I cared to believe.

"He's breathing loudly, he's not really struggling...but he's not doing well..." I already knew the answer before she said anything. I knew it was probably the day we would lose him. I wished I could be sitting in the room with them and I was thankful I wasn't sitting there with them!

One-ism or Two-ism?

While looking into Worldviews I came across an argument I had been thinking about more recently since I read the book Orthodoxy by GK Chesterton (BUY AND READ IT!!) where he argues that God made the creation distinct from Himself and He was not part of it, therefore an eternal and inoperable distinction exists that makes Him the creator and us the creation. I don't think that Chesterton fully fleshed out this argument (from my memory) but it was such a touching onto truth that it sat niggling at the back of my mind and mulling through my brain. Till the other morning while doing some research for my husbands class I came across this awesome article by Peter Jones which just baited my taste for more of this information got me to thinking. One or Two? Is it really that simple?

One Reason Why I Know Fear Never Pays

"We just want you to head straight over to the emergency room this afternoon and get some pathology work done." Our pediatrician said to us. He was pretty up beat and I didn't see a need to get nervous. In fact I assumed this action was simply routine. We drove down town to the state children's hospital where we had been referred. We both looked at one another strangely when we were called back almost immediately and quickly by passed triage and weren't assigned the open ER standard rooms (curtained beds with patients sitting on them) but a private room. I don't remember exactly what the tag next to the door said, but it might as well have been a beacon for "compromised immune system" as we learned later this was the room the doctors take the cancer kids.

Things That Make Me Feel LIke A Brand New Mom All Over Again

Christian Support For Jews

I am not a big fan of getting into political discussions, but this topic is one which I feel strongly about and is needful for followers of Christ to be mindful of.

Gen 12:1 Now the Lord said to Abram, “Go from your country and your kindred and your father's house to the land that I will show you. 2 And I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing. 3 I will bless those who bless you, and him who dishonors you I will curse, and in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed.” 

In the news lately there has been much talk of not supporting Israel and the Jews. The scandal with the Presidents of France and our own nation America, speaking with much disrespect and cruelty of the Leader of Israel has stirred up many emotions in me. I keep thinking of the words that so many of the prophets speak about how God would never reject the Jewish people completely. In Zechariah 8 God clearly speaks of a remnant of the People of Israel being dealt with graciously and God being Jealous for them and Zion.

What Do you Do?

Will and I are often asked this question. "Well, what do you do?!" and though I don't usually say it I always think to myself "What can I do?" and I really mean it! When God causes certain things to happen when I make choices that follow the gospel what can I do, but bear up under the cost of that choice! I don't do anything. I try hard to trust and I pray and I often beg for relief, but I cannot do anything! And sometimes not being able to do anything is really one of the hardest things for me to do. Bearing up under the pressure of the cost, realizing how weak and frail I really am, how depraved my human self is in reality, and how much I really do want to DO something! But often, there isn't much to do save hope and wait and trust. Faith in effect has become a part of your life when you are bearing. His yoke is light, but the world would love to make you believe otherwise and even though it is light it is costly! I know this because my life is a testimony to the costliness of His grace! But the next time you think someone or you yourself needs to do something.....maybe you are not really looking at things the right way....maybe He is doing something and calling you to witness His majesty?! Maybe He is growing and sanctifying you and changing you into the image of Christ. Bearing isn't bad, it is another testament that Christ lives in you and you are known by Him. Christ bore and if we are called to be like Him we too must bear up under the trails and side-effects of living in this fallen world!

and a post script from my favorite theologian:

Today we in the church know far too little about the unique blessing of enduring and bearing--to bear, not to cast off, to bear, but neither to collapse, to bear as Christ bore the cross, to endure beneth it, and there, underneath, to find Christ. When God imposes a burden, those who are patient bend their heads and believe it is good to be humbled thus--to endure beneath this burden. But to endure beneath it! To remain firm, to remain strong as well--that is what the word means, not anemic, giving in, shrinking back, enamored of suffering--but rather to gain strength under the burden as under God's grace, to preserve God's peace with unshakable constancy. God's peace is found among the patient.



-Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Treasures of Suffering p. 43

Bad or Good

I always wonder when bad things happen; How can this ever look or be Good?! I am incredulous! How can these horrible things ever really look good or profitable to me? How can death be good? How can cancer be good? How can broken relationships be good? How can suffering ever be good? How can affliction ever be good? How can failure ever be success? I am certain you have many things you could add to this list. But for me I am still learning how bad becomes good! Isn't that funny?! While understanding the root of the gospel is how super bad becomes purely good I have difficultly seeing that in the smaller moments of my life! But I am learning!

Why Coshepherding is So Hard

It's hard to get at my kids hearts almost ALL the time. They would much rather I address their behavior and they don't want to apologize for their motives just the actions. I find my children avoid the truth just as much as kids who never heard. In fact sometimes I think my kids go to extra lengths to avoid the truth, in church my kid will play super hero/villains with their fingers to avoid listening to the sermon. My kid would rather scream at the top of his/her lungs when they are hurt emotionally or physically instead of actually speaking to someone about the truth. My kid would rather ignore me and even go so far as to cover their ears to avoid hearing my words as I speak to them. All these realities I find SOO tough to deal with because my desires for them are so different than their desires for themselves.

What's In A Name?

Originally Posted by William on our old site for the benefit of those following the arrival of our first daughter and now reposted since we have once again expanded the female wing of our family tree.

We thought we would give a little insight into the names we have chosen for our children, especially since I didn't go into much detail when we shared the good news of adding a little female presence (Now two little girlies) to our boy house! The names we chose for our children have been mostly inspired by men of the faith who have impacted our lives greatly either by their writing or by their testimony of faith, but most especially their exposition of Scripture.





Silas Haddon - Silas is the name of the missionary partner of the apostle Paul, with whom he was stranded in prison. Also the amanuensis of Peter for the book of 1 Peter. Haddon is named for Charles Haddon Spurgeon who was quite possibly one of the most influential Christian preachers in history. This man has truly been an inspiration to me as a man called into pastoral ministry and a lover of good preaching.





Kace Renwick - Kace was to be named Cornelius after the centurion in Acts whom Peter witnesses to, but after some issues we decided to nix the name and only call him Kace, as that was to be the nic-name. It was taken from a theologian and famous apologist Cornelius Van Til whose family called him Kees (pronounced Kace). Renwick is taken from a covenanter named James Renwick (pronounced Rennik) who was martyred for the faith. His life and testimony can be read in Fair Sunshine, it is a wonderful story of God's glory going forth in the lives of His people.





Gresham Jeremiah - Gresham is named for J. Gresham Machen (rhymes with kitchen) who carried the mantle of reformed theology to Westminster after the death of Warfield and old Princeton. He founded the OPC denomination and was a great proponent of conservative and biblical theology. Jeremiah is obviously taken from the great prophet whose ministry could never be measured in worldly standards as a success although he was so faithful to the Lord in all he did. Jeremiah and the New Covenant made in Jeremiah 31 have truly been a great encouragement to Larissa and I throughout the years.





Petra Anastasia - Petra is a Greek word that means foundational rock(It is also a historical location that was said to be unconquerable and therefore named petra) and is found in Luke when Jesus explains the importance of building your house on the solid rock (there are also other places in the Greek New Testament that the word is found all of which refer to Christ and the nature of salvation and His gospel). As a Greek student I liked the connotation of the word, but also the female of Peter. Anastasia is from the Greek word anastasis which means resurrection or a new beginning. She will have a name that reflects the truths of the Gospel of grace in Christ.

Libi Shiloh - Our Second Daughter gets the distinction of being the only child lucky enough to have my (Larissa) amazing naming skills. When we named the last four children, my awesome husband always had some great ideas and apart from Silas (which was our second name choice) I am just not as creative as Will!Turns out I am the WORST baby namer out there! I cannot decide on a name to save my life, I have to try out bunches to see if they "fit" my idea of this baby. But finally, I was able to narrow our names list. I began calling our littlest girl by this name and it really seemed to fit. So we decided to name her Libi, which in Hebrew means "my heart". We hope that Our daughter will have the Heart of Him who is the author of Love, Mercy, Grace, Compassion, Liberty, Redemption and most especially Life! Shiloh is a name we have enjoyed for years.  Shiloh means "peace" in Hebrew or place of peace. This is where the Israelites built the tabernacle and also a name used of the Messiah. We hope that is peace will reign in her heart and that she would not sacrifice truth for the sake of worldly peace, but always pursue peace that is rooted in the Gospel alone!

I hope that all of you enjoy this very intimate look into the history and legacy of the names we have chosen for these boys and girls. We continue to pray that they will be as faithful to the truths of the gospel.

A Year Ago...

Easter 1986

No one ever tells you what it feels like to loose a parent. No one says what loss and death bring into the life of those of us still living. We never stop to think that death touches us all because death is as Universal as birth. And no one ever tells you the grief that follows the end of a relationship. I am not thankful that my relationship with my father has ended, but I am thankful for the lesson that I have learned about this intimacy that exists with humanity and death, no matter how much we try to pretend it doesn't. I will never forget how important time is, how fleeting, how easily we become lax and forgetful. I will never again down play the importance of the gospel, because I have seen it rejected at the end of the path. I will also never forget that "as long as there is life, there is hope." I know my life has not been marked by separations, but this loss was/is still the most devastating to me personally. Loving someone who was unwilling to flee to Him and being helpless can really put life into prespective. I don't enjoy my education into the world of death and loss, but I am thankful to no longer be personally ignorant to the far reaching effects our choices of sin make not just on this life, but into the next as well. My father has taught me much at the close of this relationship which I know has and will have far reaching effects into the future of my life and the lives of those that I go through this life with. I pray that the Lord will continue to redeem this sorrow in my life and even when I cannot be thankful for the eternal loss of this love, I hope that it will bring glory to Him all the same.

D.M.B
1948-2010

Do Not Fear?

Lately I have been thinking on the issue of fear. And one of the most glaring facts I have discovered from scripture is that fear almost always denotes worship, either you worship and trust God or you don't. When you fear the Lord you follow His ways. When you fear anything else, those are the ways you go. It is clear that when you fear anything other than the Lord you are not following or trusting in Him alone.

In the Name of Peace

The truth is too important to kill it in the streets for the sake of peace. --RC Sproul


How many times have we refused to confess the truth as it is and chosen instead to be in a state of "peace" with others? Have you ever argued not to do what was rooted in the truth in favor of just not offending anyone?

Guess what? That's one of the main characteristics of our postmodern secular culture! Our culture tells us everyday in thousands of ways that no one has the right to infringe on anothers' "opinion". Our culture tells us to believe in anything but allow others also to believe in anything. Is this what you do?

You may say; "No way, Larissa, I NEVER do that!" But don't you? When you choose to bow down to anothers' opinion instead of being obedient to the words of Christ spoken of in scripture, you do do this!!!

You know Christ himself makes no leaway for this "opinion" respecting attitude we are so proud of in our nation. He says those who love Him do as He commands, no questions asked, no arguments, no addendums. He says, we do! But do you?

Nope. You say, "Oh, geese, she might get mad at me!" or "Well, I would answer and tell you the truth, but I might offend you." Wow! Have we really strayed this far from the bible and still we claim to be followers of God?

We have dragged truth into the street to murder her in a flagrant disregard of Christ, but, by golly, we didn't offend anyone! Oh, but did you offend God? Um, maybe that should be your focus if in fact you have been saved by His mercy!

He Gives and He Takes Away

Through this sorrow I have been learning many things. The most important of which is that God is sovereign and we are responsible for our own actions apart from the cross. It has been especially hard knowing that my own father spurned the truth of the gospel, even at the end, in favor of his own pride. Yet, our God is still a good God. He does not desire that we spurn his offers of salvation, He continually (in many lives) reaches out the truth toward us and yet because of His character "God resists the proud, but give grace to the humble" (1 Peter 5). I have had to remember so much of His character these last several weeks as we first knew the time was near, but then we knew that Hope was no longer necessary. His character is what has allowed me to remember that no matter the choices that my father made, no matter how little concern he had for his own soul, God is always loving and faithful, just and pure. I say that not because I ever doubted the character of God, but because I realize the nature of a human life that rebels continually against their creator. I understand, while I am still deeply sorrowed by it, that God cannot allow us to go our own way. This has encouraged me, even while tears have been present.

Be Bold...and Yet Grace Filled

Wrote this post several months ago and although a little dated I still believe the points are true! So here goes....

In light of the many abhorrent realities of our current state of culture, I have truly felt burdened to encourage many of the people of the Church. I know that the recent elections and inaugurations have left many of us feeling dissatisfied, no matter who you voted for no one ended up with every choice they wanted. But as believers in the cross we are often scared to engage the problems that are very apparent in our culture, more now then ever. God has in many ways given our nation over to it's sin. Open and flagrant disregard is not only practiced but heralded in the guise of personal freedom and moral plurality. Truly the base truths of the Book of Judges are manifesting themselves in our culture..."Everyone did what was right in their own eyes."