As many of you know my grandfather died friday May 18th, 2007. Although not a surprise, as he was seriously ill, it is never easy to loose a person whose life has impacted and touched your own. I am tempted therefore to run down a list of things that marked or remind me of his life. I say tempted because the purpose of our lives is not to run over and over the list of our accomplishments, the lives we have touched, or even the things we valued. The purpose of our lives is to reflect the nature of our great and glorious Savior and to boast only in His accomplished work. My grandfather was a good man, but I want to see Christ in this end to his life. I desire in my heart, that is acutely regretful, to see my Lord in the action of my grandpa's life and in the action of his death. I admit that it is hard for me to see His glory in the lost life of my grandfather because I do not know if he trusted in Christ for his righteousness (even knowing how sweet he was to me). But if he did not trust Christ, where in this loss do I encounter the One who changed me and my life? And where can I point to His glory and His grace? Even if I take myself out of the equation, where does anyone encounter the Savior in this act?
Unfortunately, I have no pat answer for my own question. All I know is that God is sovereign and my own confusion in this experience is under His omniscient control. I know a few things though. I know how much I love and value my mother and father. I know how much my sister's souls are of importance to me. I desire for my family to encounter their own mortality and--at that reality-- rely on the sweet and providential mercy of Christ. I know now how much I don't really know and how much faith is involved in losing someone you love dearly and whose life touched your heart. I cling now to the Lord who knows all things, sees all things, and directs all things since only He knows how this action works to reflect His glory and how this life that was lost will and continues to honor Him alone. I never understood before that loss, no matter how anticipated it may be, is never easy. This is hard, this not knowing.
"7 The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul;the testimony of the Lord is sure,making wise the simple;8 the precepts of the Lord are right,rejoicing the heart;the commandment of the Lord is pure,enlightening the eyes;9 the fear of the Lord is clean,enduring forever;the rules of the Lord are true,and righteous altogether.10 More to be desired are they than gold,even much fine gold;sweeter also than honeyand drippings of the honeycomb.11 Moreover, by them is your servant warned;in keeping them there is great reward." Psalm 19:7-11.
