"Think whether Christ came from the Father to bring tiding of sadness and despair, or of great joy; and whether angles preached not the Glory to God in the highest, on earth peace and to men good will? And whether faith, hope and love, which are the things which Christ will work on souls, be not more powerful to destroy your sins than despair or discouragement of mind?
And because you complain so much of sin, I ask you why doth not your conscience more accuse you of the sin of unthankful denying or extenuating the mercies of God, and no more magnifying them? And for overlooking so much the meritorious righteousness of Christ, while you complain for want of more of your own? I would not deceive you by telling you that you need none in yourself and that all your righteousness is out of you in Christ: I know that your righteousness must exceed that of the Pharisees, and the unrighteous shall not inherit the Kingdom of God, and he that doth righteousness is righteous. But at what bar or tribunal? Only at that of grace, which supposeth the reconciling, pardoning righteousness of Christ. It is not at the bar of rigorous justice according to the law, which requireth innocence to justification; there Christ only is your righteousness, and you have none and must dream of none but that which floweth from his and stands in subordination to it and is you title to it and improvement of it, even your thankful accepting a free-given Savior, Head and Lord, and pardon and the Spirit to sanctify you more and fit you for communion with God and for glory. Esteem most, choose first, and seek most the love of God the Father, the grace of Christ, and the communion of the Holy Ghost, and this subordinate righteousness will certainly prove the meritorious perfect righteousness of Christ to be for you, instead of a perfect righteousness of your own. There is no defect in his sacrifice of merits. If you lack a title to Christ you were unjustified; but none wants that who consenteth to his covenant, as before; and that consent you cannot deny. Will you live like a forsaken orphan exposed in the wilderness, while God's tender love is saving you, and Christ is glorying in you as the fruit of His blood, and the angles of God are serving you and rejoicing at your conversion? I entreat you to think whether it be no the great work that God hath called you to do, to honor His grace and propagate to all about you, as you are able, a joyful, thankful, hoping, and praising frame of soul, and to stir up all the delightful praise of God? As ministers must do it by preaching, all must do it by conference and example. And is your dejected sadness the performance of this?"
--Margaret Baxter, from A Grief Sanctified By J.I. Packer and Richard Baxter
While reading this wonderful book (Seriously if it isn't in your own personal library it must be!!!) I have been mightily convicted of God. I have struggled often from the weight of my numerous sins. So much has been over magnified in my eyes of the truly wicked realities of my heart and desires. Truly I am not a sinless person, but a person clinging to grace! I have been mightily overcome by the deprecations that have come flooding to the fore and could not shake a feeling of condemnation. Do not we all do this? Abhor ourselves for our lack of righteousness? We want to attain a level of righteousness that has no need of a Savior, do we not? I am trying desperately to make myself an idol. Who would I then worship if I could be without sin and supremely good? I am embarrassed by the answers to these questions, these same sins that first brought me to the foot of the cross have lately brought me low again under the burden of sin, but should they have done so?
Have I not been freed by His righteousness?
Have I not been given the promises of life in Him? and and abundant life at that?
Do I not remember that I will be like Him someday just as the apostle encourages?
I have not remembered that even a heart that is burdened deeply for sin (I do not mean a truly contrite heart that is broken for sin- but a heart abundantly downcast and depressed by the realities of our sin) is not always centered on Christ. Can we not pervert anything? Oh, believe me, I can! I can take even the beauty of repentance and make it a study in my own need for self-righteousness. As I have lately done.
But....Oh glory Revealed....Our God is a Good God. I am reminded that my righteousness--no matter how great--is still nothing in comparison to His imputed righteousness. I must rejoice! I must shout that He has had mercy on my heart! He has brought me out of the pit and set my feet upon the rock! Praise the Lord for this woman of wisdom who lived so very, very long ago! Would she ever have thought that her struggled with the flesh would truly be a sweet and tender balm of truth to my confused and aching heart, so consumed with self?
My God is sweet....so sweet!
My God is merciful...Have you ever thought how merciful He is? He looked on Me with pity....His thoughts are not my thoughts....He is merciful! He is faithful!
My God is Gracious! How my heart must rejoicing in His working my horrendous errors into good...by the way of the Cross! Beautiful Holiness!
He is so good to me! How can I stay silent? How cannot I sing and joy and glory in His work, even in the face of my failings? He isn't like me, His thoughts are not my thoughts!
May we not be turned away by the insidious thoughts that drive us to focus on our own sin and not on Him alone!
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