Reposting Memories: Circa May 2007

Older pic, probably winter 2007-08.

After waking in the night from a bad dream my middle son was brought into our bed by my husband. He lay quietly in between us periodically asking if i was still awake. I would feel a sticky hand on the back of my head tangled in my hair, if you don't have boys stickiness is very common for no reason at all, and hear his deep voice "Ma? Ma?" As I would take his hand in answer to his query I suddenly was overwhelmed and humbled by the grace of God in my life that allows me this sweet and tender moment with my son. It was all the more humbling because of the hard day I had had with our oldest son being disobedient and my struggle with anger and frustration. I often forget that I am living under grace because I have been liberated by grace. My son reminded me how much God grants me mercy in the face of my sin. I was brought great joy and also conviction by His sweet reminder in the darkness of the night.

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2011.



I forget so fast how quickly they all grow up! I see them just for a moment in their baby stage and then again I see them for a moment more as they grow up and then before your eyes they are bigger and bigger. More mature and conversable and slowly you forget those first moments they said "mama!" Then they are writing stories for you about yourself and interested in things much older than they had previously. You watch them begin to really react to you in their own ways and with their own personality and you forget those first few  moments of intimacy you had when they were little, relating to you in their simple and babyish ways. I wish those memories wouldn't leave so quick, nor the babes in my arms....but then how could I give up the little boys they have become?