Things That Make Me Feel LIke A Brand New Mom All Over Again

-Our Newest Drama....The Possibility of Asthma.

-Learning again how fragile life is and How At least one of our children
would be lost today without the miracle of modern medicine.
At least Asthma is only moderately disturbing and preferable to an alternative.

-How dramatic realities like these make a crazy momma like me even more nutsy.

-Lost Teeth, which are a new (everytime we lose one it's a new thing for me!)
 and yet not so new experience. Every Lost tooth seems
like a new chance for me to realize how unprepared I am most days to be a momma!
I don't get grossed out or off my game much...but lost teeth sure can do it!

Raising little girls to be women. Every day I see how different and
complicated my own sex really is. I see the truths of Genesis 3
and how it affects me and my girls. I know that these two beauties
already have me stumped half the time...what will the future hold?

Night time feedings and general newborn care. Baby age is my FAVORITE
age, but it also give me pause the most. I worry about weight,
sleep, security, being careful, bath time and diaper numbers.
 Basically it's an opportunity every day to judge myself and worry myself
sick or fight for the truth inside my own mind. New Parent
realities come home to roost again!

School and school activities. Private school is different than we imagined,
different in terms of faith, different in terms of security, different in terms
 of our goals and even our values. What do we want out of this school year?
I don't remember ever asking myself that with homeschooling or public school.
 I feel so lost some times on how to parent through this new territory and it makes
 me feel again how unsure I was those first few days back in the summer of 2004.

Having five different people and knowing how to parent each one specifically and wisely is super hard. Each one is different and you cannot expect one way of parenting to work with everyone exactly the same. The all have different sin struggles, they all have different goals, they all have different personalities. They all react differently to discipline. Somethings what worked well with one doesn't work at all with another. Some react to heart probing with deep and thoughtful answers others look blankly at me with vacant stares. Some things work for all, but most things have to be unique to each child and this is hard and consumes a ton of time, energy and creativity. I am often unable to make things work out just like I want and then I have to just choose to love my child and tell them I am relying on grace and so should they. Jesus loves so much that at times, it is enough to know the HUGE work he did and simply rest in that. Sometimes wisdom isn't sufficient, but grace always is. The huge variables make me feel like a lost freshman  all over again.

Bottom line is that becoming a parent to more children doesn't make me an expert in anything, but possibly child birth. I have run the gamut of birthing options from aux-natural to fully-dead-half-body effects of a very effective epidural. I have five different children who prove every day how I must rely on His grace and direction and especially the mandates of scripture in my parenting. I see how much I must learn and how much I resemble that silly and plan-filled girl who was learning the ropes seven plus years ago. Only this ropes course keeps changing  and the map is never very clear. The longer I parent the less I know, kinda like the longer I am a believer the less I see how much I have figured out and the more I see the great need of more education and exposure to truth.