Whew! That title could probably be a blog post in and of itself. Despite its length, however, this title reflects some musings on relational intimacy that have occupied my mind of late. So much of the Internet connectedness we have come to know and love over the past few years has enabled us to renew contact with long lost pals from yesterday and maintain relationships with distant friends all across the globe. Though the unanimous consensus is that all of our renewing and maintaining of relationships is a good thing, there are some detrimental consequences that must be heralded.
Whether we mind or not, all the Internet based social networking sites take time. Time to figure out, time to maintain, time to use, ad nauseam. Now this time it is argued is well spent since it is meant to be an investment in our friendships. Such is certainly true, but the reality is that our most immediate relational opportunities (fellow church members, neighbors, co-workers, essentially anyone within a few miles drive of our home) get short shrifted when we spend TOO much time on social networking sites. More often than not the end result of all our blogging, twittering, and skyping is that our porch rockers and kitchen tables are all too often empty. This is NOT the way it is supposed to be!
The answer is not to go off the grid and completely separate ourselves from our old friends, but rather to trust a little more in the sovereignty of God. Wherever you currently live right now is exactly where the bulk of your relational investments ought to be. It is an unwise endeavor indeed to relationally invest most of your time in the past while neglecting the friendships of the present. God has providentially placed you exactly where you are right now. He also providentially had you where you were but by His good design you are no longer there. You may miss and even long for some of those close relationships you had while you were in college or living in your hometown, but those relationships never became what they were via a wireless connection. They came from living, working, worshipping, crying, and laughing face to face and shoulder to shoulder. These kind of relationships are still possible but they will take time, the kind of time you will never have as long as tweeting and facebooking our more important than having your neighbor over for dinner.
Consider going low-tech and telling someone in your Sunday School class to join you for coffee at your house or inviting your neighbor to come over for football one day (preferably a Saturday so they have the opportunity to watch some real football). Having said that, don't neglect those long-distance friends you can only chat with through Facebook or Gmail. First and foremost, let the bulk of your time be spent pouring out your life for those in your church and community but never forget to jump online from time to time in order to love on those who will always be your cherished friends.
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